you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
