Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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