You're my little dorito
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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