Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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