If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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