Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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