Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
