I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
