he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
