Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I will die if light touches me.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
