We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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