Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize