It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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