What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
