shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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