how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize