you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
