Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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