dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Randomize
