Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
