To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
