One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
