I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
