Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
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I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
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Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize