bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You did what with his pubic hair?
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