I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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