toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
