Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
