He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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