I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
This is the high leading the old right now
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
