i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize