found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
