i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
