i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
