Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize