Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
