BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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