i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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