And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
