what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
