no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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