wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
