I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
What drink are we having for lunch?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Randomize
