I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I love having hate sex.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
