shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
