it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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