Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
