I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You need a sexual gate keeper
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
