next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
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I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
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I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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