just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
