so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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