Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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