Where did you get a picture of my penis
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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