wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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