sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
