You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize