I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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