We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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