did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
