I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
